dating4realz.com

No really, it isn’t.

It wasn’t meant to make single people feel bad. But it does.

It wasn’t meant for women to expect things from men. But it’s become that way.

What you’ll find throughout this site is getting back to basics, and Valentine’s Day is no exception. Like so many other holidays, V-Day has spiraled out of control, to the point where we’ve not only despise it, but we’ve lost the true meaning of the holiday (sounds like another holiday from a couple of months ago).

So, in lieu of flowers and candy, why not show the one you love, by doing something special for them? Be it cooking them their favourite meal, or a nice foot rub, or drawing a warm bath, with a warm towel (tossed into the dryer for about 30 minutes) waiting for them whenever they’re done, and so on.

It should be a special day…so make the most of it.

I love the title of this movie, because it’s one of my brother’s favourite phrases (honestly, he despises it). It’s also a relationship status update on Facebook.

Anyways, the premise of this movie is that Jake Adler (Alec Baldwin) is attempting to re-kindle the spark with his ex-wife, Jane Adler (Meryl Streep), after being divorced for ten years.

What led to the demise of this happy home was Jake having an affair on Jane after 19 years of marriage, then marrying the adulteress six months after the divorce was final. The further complicate matters, his new wife Agness (Lake Bell) previously left him, had a fling with another man…which produced a child, Pedro, then came back to Jake.

Not to mention the architect working on an addition to Jane’s house Adam (Steve Martin), trying to move on as Jane’s potential love interest and get over a messy divorce, all at the same time.

Told you it’s complicated…man, they weren’t kidding!

The main portion of the movie involves the youngest son Luke (Hunter Parrish) graduating from college. Once the whole family meets in New York, a chance encounter in a hotel bar finds the main couple reliving the good times of their failed marriage, ultimately ending up in bed together. The rest of the movie involves Jane coming to terms of becoming the person that she despises (an adulteress herself now), and Jake pursuing her in earnest. We learn as the movie goes along, that the home situation with Jake isn’t going as well as he had hoped for. To add to the stress, Agness wants to have another child with Jake, so we get to see a couple of rather humourous visits to the fertility clinic. The main couple’s grown children add depth to the already rich story, especially the future son-in-law Harley (John Krasinski).

All in all, it was a very well written movie, full of comedy and very raw, touching vulnerable moments to which you sympathise with the two main characters. On a personal note, I can relate to this movie well, because it highlights a lot of what I’ve gone through with my ex in our post-divorce relationship. This movie shows us that relationships nowadays are anything but conventional, yet they all have a singular purpose…to find and nuture love.

By the way, the movie doesn’t end how you think it does, and that’s rather refreshingly in this day and age of cookie-cutting moviemaking. Definitely worth recommend seeing.

Gold diggers.

Why? Because it’s another day (re: excuse) to soak their spouses/significant others/guys that they’re stringing along to buy them massive presents and other worthless trinkets.

The bargaining power of gold diggers is quite awesome…the potential that if the suitor has earned their respect via buying x amount of stuff/giving x amount of dollars, then they may get to “the goods”.

I’ve never really understood this rationale…from an outsider’s perspective, it would be a lot cheaper and more productive to take that money to improve yourself. Honestly, and good woman worth a damn won’t insist on having you buy her expensive gifts, but will be appreciative when you actually do.

Now, I’m not saying that you never buy your mate a gift, because women don’t like cheapskates (ladies, it’s a guy thing…we all have to fight through it), but purchasing your way into someone’s heart, or pants, never works in the long run. Things like communication, common interests, trust, etc. works a lot more…and the best thing is, it’s free!

Ahh yes, love is in the air…no wait, that’s the spring, and we’re a bit aways from that.

Still, as we’re shivering and yearning to cling to something warm (regardless of size), the only thing in the air is the desperation of single people all over, rushing like mad to line up a date for Valentine’s Day coming up (t-minus 13 days and counting)…

Or are they?

From my perspective, the general consensus is that most people don’t give a toss about V-day, and anything that it entails. The most frequent compliant that I hear is “why can’t we celebrate love all year long”? Or, to take it one step further, an unanswered question that I’ve often asked…”what makes this day so special, if everyone is celebrating it”?

Honestly, no one really takes Valentine’s Day seriously anymore…except perhaps the golddiggers and school age children, hoping to collect a massive amount of simplistic cards and candy…kinda like Halloween, except for the door to door trick-or-treating.

Still, V-Day presses on, because…well, we’ll discuss that tomorrow…

I’ve touched on what this site was about briefly a few weeks ago, but didn’t really expound upon it. Well, here goes…

The basic premise of this site is two-fold…one, to debunk the common dating myths that we have been programmed into believing by the Giant Hollywood Media Machine (that’s a name that I just came up with). If you watch any generic romantic-comedy, you’ll see all of the tired cliches apply.

Subsquently, this makes you think, “well, if it works for them (because you already know that he gets the girl/she gets the boy in the end), then I should take what they’re doing, and apply it to my love life”!

Yeah, hate to take the wind out of your sails, but it doesn’t work that way. Number one, we don’t always get the boy or girl at the end of our fantasy romantic movie that we play continuously in our minds. Number two, things like co-habitation doesn’t mean that it’s like test-driving what it would be like to live with that person, for example.

So, sit back, relax, and read on…we’ll be covering basic topics such as the most important aspects of building a real relationship, dealing with adversity within your relationship, and so on. Don’t worry, I’ll also be reviewing every romantic comedy-drama out there as well.

Since we’re going with the whole “new” theme, why not a new attitude about dating?

Ok, I know what you’re thinking…how can I have a new ‘tude about dating? Well, if you’re like most people, your attitude about dating…well, sucks. It’s time to re-think about our perspective about dating.

In all honesty, it isn’t a “new attitude” or look…it’s really just getting back to basics.That’s what this site’s all about…but it won’t just be about advice. There’s a lot of that floating around, yet no one really seems to really use it, which is why we are in the condition that we are in today. There’ll be stories…some will make you laugh, some with make you cry, and some of them you’ll have to wait until you get home from work to read. Ok, maybe not, but that’s at your discretion.

BTW, I hope that everyone ate their black-eyed peas, because a little bit of luck never hurts.